With everything I had.

Every single day.

With everything I had.

Ask me how I did as a mother and the answer is this, I showed up and it was heartfelt. Every single bit of mothering was full of my love and care for my children.

There was never a day I stopped trying, even on the days I looked completely fine, but I was struggling on the inside.

I am sorry for the days my energy ran out before theirs did. I’m sorry my energy is depleted, as a grandparent on the days I’m still navigating what hurts.

I had moments when what I was carrying inside, leaked between us, where only love and steadiness should have lived. For the times my unresolved pain cast a shadow over my normal buoyancy, I’m sorry.

Some days deserved complete sunlight, but I was reliving days that had nothing to do with my amazing children.

I lived with shadows and they were mine to carry and I hope that I never let it touch them.

My struggle was never a reflection of present day.

My hardest days were never about my present day husband and children. Occasionally, I was still trying to sort through myself while simultaneously trying to hold all of us together. My wonderful people were never the reason for the weight. They were the reason I kept going.

Natalie Mosley Klenotic

#survivor