No more “Let Them”. That is long over.

Abusers often get a pass.

It becomes the abused party’s burden to accept that behavior and forgive.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day, and they are in the “let them” phase their life.

I’m not in the “let them” phase of life and I’ll tell you why.

My parents abused me mentally, physically, and emotionally, and I let it all go. I left it in the past, because I wanted a healthy environment, as I raised my children, so I chose to stop discussing it with them. Did their dysfunctional patterns and abuse stop, as I became an adult? Of course, it didn’t, but I chose to ignore any ugliness and keep moving forward in hopes that my children would have grandparents that would one day function normally.

I let them abuse me.

I let them belittle me. 

I let them talk down to me.

I let them abuse, one another.

I let them yell at my children.

I let them i.e. my mother, move in with me repeatedly, when she was seeking help.

I let them drive a wedge between my brother and I.

I let them lie to my brother.

I let them forget about my father fracturing my rib as a teenager.

I let them vanish on my daughter’s most important day, her 18th birthday and high school graduation.

I let them appear to be healthy functioning parents, when behind closed doors, it was a scary, toxic environment.

I let them wear masks in public without outing them.

I let them scream and fight without telling them I was crying in my room, during all of it.

I let them I let them I let them I let them I let them I let them I let them I let them I let them I let them I let them I let them 

That’s over! And the really sadly ironic part of all of it, is that I let them complete their dysfunctional cycle by walking away from me 14 years ago. I didn’t go after them. I didn’t encourage them to come back to me. I didn’t even do anything wrong when they disappeared on my daughter’s high school graduation day. My father just didn’t like my tone of voice and he suddenly told me that he was done talking to me forever, so my mother followed him.

It’s been 14 years of healthy interactions and family love, aside from the resurfacing of my parents and their toxicity.

No, I’m not gonna let them get away with it, because I’ve already let them get away with it for far too long. I found my voice again, three years ago when I published my book and I’m not going back to staying silent. 

How about I “let them” get a load of me!