When my mother resurfaces, it’s not with a friendly hello or I thought I would let you know that I’m still thinking about you or how are you doing…
She goes on a diatribe to make sure that we know every single traumatic event she’s ever lived through with her parents, with her husband, and in life, so that we can feel sorry for her. It’s a literal distraction from everything she allowed to happen to me and her vanishing. She wants my total empathy. She’s now taking it to a new level of the irrational behavior by saying I’m the reason she vanished 13 years ago. I dared to tell her to come around more or not come around at all. Listen, If my daughter said that to me, it would cause such deep reflection that I would be like, ‘wow I really have not been around. I’ve not been in my daughters life. I’ve not been in my grandchildren’s life. What is wrong with me, I need to kick it up a notch and be in those peoples lives.’ I wouldn’t hear the last part of that sentence and decide, welp, I guess I’m not coming around at all.

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