A martyr

My mother was a lifelong sad and miserable character, often asking me as a child if she should leave my father. I don’t think the average child would ever tell their mother to leave their father, but I always told my mother that we should leave because we would be happier somewhere else. She weighted my shoulders with discussions that were far too mature for my mind, but I was an old soul from a very young age, and my advice was that she deserved better. She chose to remain in a marriage that was abusive and lonely. 

She never took my advice, even when I became an adult and offered her my home to live in, with me and my daughter. Instead, a few years ago, she chose our abuser over me and her grandchildren. I’ve always been much stronger than her and maybe that’s why I’ve been able to get through my traumas as I have.

 “Your child will not learn how to be a happy adult by watching you live a life of joyless sacrifice.

They will only learn that adulthood is a prison.

You come home from work and complain.

You do the chores with a heavy sigh.

You never have hobbies. You never have fun.

You wear your exhaustion and your sacrifice like a martyr's crown, believing it is a sign of your love.

The hard reality is this:

You are not teaching them the value of hard work. You are teaching them to be terrified of it.

They see your life, and they learn that being a grown-up is a trap.

A miserable cycle of work, chores, and stress, with no room for joy.

You are raising a child who will fear the very future you are working so hard to provide for them.

You are sacrificing your happiness to give them a "good life," but the only lesson they are learning is that life is not good.

The greatest inheritance you can give your child is not your money.

It is your example of a life lived with purpose and joy.

Show them that an adult can be responsible and still laugh.

Let them see a future worth growing up for.”

Author: Arsalan Moin